CELEBRITIES ARE FORTING UP
(…in good old medieval style digs)

 It seems that some celebrities of the entertainment world have come up with a great idea for defending themselves and their privacy, against those barbarous hordes of paprazzi and stalkers plaguing them, and which they claim to so despise (of course, without them, where would their celebrity be? Much like yesterday’s news…no doubt).

This new defensive idea is nothing less than reviving and adapting an old concept for it that’s been around for some one thousand years…the moat! A number of celebs are actually having their mega-bucks chalets and love nests designed to include wrap-around koi pond moats for that purpose, hoping that will help keep such riff-raff at bay. There’s only one problem with that idea. To be effective a moat also needs to have a drawbridge, and ideally, besides a barbican with portcullis to back it up, an inner walled bailey, plus motte with donjon or keep right on top of it, as well.

While filling their latter-day moats with koi might be esthetically correct, filling them with piranhas instead…would probably be a more effective deterrent. Those stalker-paparazzi critters are a very determined lot…and those poor koi could very well end up as sushi snacks for them,,, as they wade through those moats to get into position and patiently wait for a clear shot at…whatever.

Well, more power to all those celebrities considering forting up in that kind of good old medieval style digs. But they should also keep in mind that such structures might ran afoul of the zoning rules in Bel Air, Beverly Hills, Malibu, and other posh residential enclaves they inhabit…Medieval…may not be on their lists of acceptable designs.

The celeb life is truly a bitch!

CENTURION