ALL ALONG THE COLORADO TRAIL
(…its summer skies may soon be smokey blue…)

Sooner or later it was bound to happen.

A while back the voters of Colorado opted to legalize pot for recreational use, not just for medicinal needs. As of New Year’s day of this year…any of its residents can buy up to an ounce of it whenever they choose (non-residents are limited to a quarter ounce). Meanwhile, the Federales are left in a bind to enforce their rules against it. How do they plan to arrest and prosecute an entire state?

Well, to paraphrase a very old (and probably long-forgotten) cowboy song…all along the Colorado trail…its summer skies may soon be smokey blue! More importantly, it raises some very interesting legal questions for the state itself. Here are a few to ponder:

1) From now on will all the members of the Legislature be required to pass a pee-in-a-cup test, each and every time before they vote on any proposed legislation? If not, might that not open the door to great volumes of legal challenges against anything they might enact…all on the grounds that a significant number of them were under the influence of the weed at the time?

2) A similar problem could also arise with every jury hearing a case, requiring a constant daily testing…for the duration of any trial.

3) The same legal question could be brought up against any decision by any public official about…anything. If he wasn’t tested before making it…how valid will that decision be?

Legalization of pot may have many more unintended consequences than the Colorado voters bargained for.

On the upside, however, some fiscal benefits will definitely accrue. For example, Nevada has minimal taxation because of the revenues provided by the gambling industry,  so now Colorado may have the same thanks to the development of an active pot industry there, especially if it has the smarts to use the V.A.T. formula for every aspect of it…that is…growing…packaging and distribution…retail selling…etc… all of that keeping the state’s coffers well stuffed evermore.

Then there is the lighter side potential this situation in Colorado will now provide the stand-up comedy community, with lots of new material to play with. For example:

-The state’s boundaries will display billboards proclaiming…

WELCOME TO COLORADO…IT’S REALLY…MELLOW!

– The new state theme song will now be John Denver’s

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH

-Road signs approaching Denver will follow suit with:

WELCOME TO MILE HIGH CITY…AND IS IT EVER!

-The Broncos will be renamed …

THE HIGHLANDERS…(and if they never win…WE WON’T CARE)

-The new official state definition for –smog- will be:

COLORADO BLUE

-Pest control services will advertise saying:

WE’LL SMOKE ALL YOUR ROACHES…GUARANTEED!

-The most popular baby’s name for girls will now be:

MARY JANE or MARIA JUANITA (depending on ethnic demographics)

-Smokey the Bear posters will now be saying:

PREVENT FOREST FIRES…SAVE THE WEEDS!

-Hereafter, whenever Air Force Academy graduates sing their alma mater..

Off we go into the wild blue yonder…THEY WON’T BE KIDDING!!!

-The politically correct term for –hookers- will now be:

BLUE BELLES

Sorry, folks, but jokes about Colorado will soon probably outnumber those about the Kardashians!

C’est la vie…

CENTURION