THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER…
(…and there ain’t much of anything new to yak about…)

Pick up any newspaper, magazine, or watch what passes for “news” on TV, and it seems that this is the time of year when the only thing we’re getting is the same old stuff being recycled and regurgitated. The same incidents of murder, rape, and pillage. The same conflict and slaughter still going on in different parts of the world. The same heated political exchanges offering no reasonable resolutions about economic and social issues.

Truly…the dog days of summer…and there ain’t much of anything new to yak about… unless…you’re inclined for the mildly salacious and scandalous hoo-hah’s exposed in those street-sheets about “celebrities”…at the check-out counters of our super-markets.

So, we’re going to make a short visit down memory lane, so to speak, by browsing through the archives of some of our past issues for a while. Our preliminary search of these has found a number of them which still seem relevant to what is happening in our world today. We’re attaching the first of these as an annex to this issue. There are a number of others which are also still pertinent today.

What’s intriguing about them is not about being prescient about events and issues, but how well they illustrate the view, as they say in French…plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose …the more things “change” the more things are the same.

C’est la vie!

CENTURION

ANNEX – From 2001 Archives – Out-takes of things the editors didn’t like…

A BIT OF REVISIONIST GOSPEL (…and why things are the way they are..)

In the beginning there was not much of anything. All was chaos and darkness, until God said…I think we need some light. So, his number one angel clapped his hand together with a loud bang and…voila…there was light!

Very impressed with this display of light-making talent God exclaimed…Dude! That was awesome! From now on you are my main man and personal assistant. And, hereafter, you’ll be known as –LUCIFER- my light maker. The angel was very pleased and said…cool!

Now that he could see what he was doing God began a frenzy of work…creating a heaven here, and earth there, and whole bunch of other planets, stars, and galaxies besides, which he called –The Universe -.filling it with a lot of living creatures and, eventually, humans. By the time all that creativity was done seven days had passed, so God decided it was time for a lunch break…and to rest for a spell.

Lucifer, however, was just worn out from having to hold up that light for God all that time. He was not a happy camper, so he started scheming on ways to get even. Not being the sensitive type God, ignoring Lucifer’s sulking, just spent his time admiring his handiwork. He was very pleased with the results. Everything was beautiful, and all his critters, including humans, co-existed in perfect peace and harmony.

Lucifer, on the other hand, was not only tired but bored stiff with it all., so he finally spoke up saying…Lord, you’re a great creator, and all that, but what we have here is strictly… dullsville! You need to come up with something to spice things up. Besides, I’m tired of standing around like a dummy holding up this light for you. Taken aback by this outburst God replied…come on, Lucifer, it can’t be that bad. What you suggest I do to improve things? Pausing to think for a moment, Lucifer replied…why don’t you create CONFLICT Lord, yeah, that’s my suggestion.

That didn’t please God very much (he never liked criticism…constructive or otherwise)…so he said…but everything is so nice and peaceful. It’s perfect. How would creating conflict improve on that? Lucifer just grinned and said…easy, Lord, just make it a conflict between GOOD and EVIL. But God replied…how can I create EVIL when I’m pure and absolute GOOD?

This was the opening that Lucifer had been waiting for…No problem, Lord, just promote me to be your evil alter ego and call me…SATAN! Shocked by this second outburst, God replied…But even if I wanted to do that…how would that create…CONFLICT? Lucifer grinned even more and said…Easy…give humans FREE WILL…and I’ll do the rest!

So God thought about that for a while then said…Okay, but, if I do that, we’ll have to have some new rules, and you, dear Lucifer will no longer be my number one angel. Which means I’ll have to replace you with that hothead, Michael, who just loves to swipe at anything that moves with that sword of his. And also, I’ll have to promote that dork, Gabriel, with his damned horn! As for you, I’ll have to banish you into eternal darkness. Have you thought about that?

Lucifer just grinned even more, from ear to ear, saying…hmmm…new rules…great idea! But keep that part K.I.S.S. Those humans of yours have limited brainpower and short attention spans. As for the rest, well, yeah, Michael is kind of a nut, but, dork or not, Gabriel is an okay dude, so they should do right by you. As for me, I can live with being in eternal darkness. It will be a blessed relief from all this light crap! Besides, I’m ready to be on my own for a change.

Sighing sadly at this latest outburst from his number one angel, God just shrugged and said…Well, we’ll have to come up with a good name for these new rules. I’m just not good at that sort of thing, any ideas? Lucifer thought a bit then said…I’ve got it…how about calling them –COMMANDMENTS – or something like that…simple…easy to understand …with no gray areas to confuse their pea-sized brains!

God then asked…so how many of those commandments would you suggest we have? Lucifer, never one to hesitate, replied…TEN…yeah, ten is about all they can probably handle. Nodding approval God then asked…and how will we know if this idea is working or not? Without missing a beat Lucifer said…Easy, Lord, each time a human breaks a rule, I get to create more evil…and each time a human follows a rule…you…get to create more good!

God then cried out…But if we do that there’ll be no end to it. There will be conflict forever! Lucifer just smiled some more saying…that’s the idea, Lord, it will never stop. We’ll have created ourselves a –DYNAMIC-universe instead of a –STATIC – one…forever and ever…amen! Much intrigued by this God then asked…but, what if somewhere down the line, one of us gains more than the other, what then? Without batting an eyelash Lucifer replied…Not to worry, Lord. If it comes to that, you can just have old Gabriel give a loud blast on his horn…everything will go black…and…we can start all over again!

Giving Lucifer a long, long, stare God said…Hmmm…you seem to have really thought this out. You’ve covered everything. Smiling proudly Lucifer said…I just learned from the best, Lord, just learned from the best! Shaking his head and heaving a long unhappy sigh God then said…Okay…Okay…don’t kiss-up…not becoming to you. Well…go ahead and… make it so.

And the world has been going to hell in a hand-basket…ever since.

CENTURION