TO PREDICT THE OUTCOME OF THIS SUPER BOWL
(…you’ll need to know which team has the Beyonce deal)

Tomorrow is when the annual sports event of the year kicks off.

For the past forty years it has grown in hoopla and following, and today it is as firmly embedded in our American cultural matrix as the World Cup is in other parts of the world.

This year New Orleans is again the host site for this sports extravaganza, and both happy and proud to use the occasion to show the rest of the world how well it has recovered from the devastation of Katrina (although there are some parts of its 9th district still in shambles). But never mind, it’s party time, and the Big Easy is just as eager as anyone else to tie one on. Besides, on top of all that, there is also Mardi Gras…whoopee!

In addition to being invaded by hordes of sports fans and football fanatics, it is also swarmed over by sports casters and assorted bookmakers,  all hard at it trying to predict which of the two teams…The Ravens or the Niners…will go home with the trophy from this contest. Meanwhile, the odds-makers are working overtime to work out a proper spread to attract all those heavy sports bettors. But so far, it seems the odds are remaining about even, making the “action” somewhat dull.

Well to liven things up perhaps the following formula may be the answer. That is, to predict the outcome of this Super Bowl…you’ll have to know which team has the Beyonce deal, because it will provide that team with an overwhelming motivational edge to win the grand prize. And here’s how that deal might be: As agreed, whenever a player of that team makes a touchdown, Beyonce will dash out and give him a great grinding body hug and French-kiss, right there in the end zone. And, for any member of that team who is injured while trying to destroy an opposing player, she will also dash out onto the field where he lies, and give him mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation. With that kind of motivation on its side…the opposing team won’t have a chance!

Well, it’s a great idea, but there’s only one problem with it for me…does anyone know Beyonce’s personal number…I’d like to place a bet…before the game starts!

CENTURION