DODGING THE CONSTRICTIONS OF COURT-ORDERED DETOX
(…by checking herself into a boutique rehab spa of her choice)

Ours is a land of laws, so one would think that court orders are court orders, but…it ain’t necessarily so.

Girl-gone-wild Lindsey Lohan has had more encounters with the law for DUI and other offenses than a cat has lives, yet, once again, she has managed to wiggle herself off the law hook, apparently for being a celebutante of dubious merit with enough money to pay for a slick legal beagle to plea bargain a deal for dodging the constrictions of court-ordered detox…by checking herself into a boutique rehab spa of her choice.

Although fleeing his jurisdiction to do so, which should have earned her a bench warrant, the New York judge involved with her case cannily let her do it, figuring that by doing so he was saving New York a bundle of costs, by palming her off on her family, friends, and the State of California instead…his rationale for all that perhaps being…good riddance to bad rubbish, no doubt.

So…now she’s back in LaLa Hollywood “rehabbing” in a comfy snail-paced rehab cocoon, instead of having to face up to the harsh realities of doing cold-turkey detox in a much less posh New York facility. As the Church Lady might have put it…isn’t that special!

Ah, yes, here in America everyone is equal before the law. Some, it seems, are just more equal than the rest of us.

CENTURION