THE SYRIAC DISEASE….
(an infection caused by the genus…kleptosaurae)

Of all the species of – kleptosaurae – that infest this world of ours few are as virulently dangerous as its… kleptosaurus Hadaddii…which has a greater propensity for indiscriminate slaughter, rape, and pillage than any other of its kind. First encountered in Syria over forty years ago, we have come to call the symptoms and effects of its infection -The Syriac Disease – because of its extreme danger to human rights and freedoms.

Matching it in ferocity and rapacity, the late Iraqi specimen known as – kleptosaurus Husseinii – , after some extremely difficult efforts to eradicate it, was finally found hiding in a spider hole and dispatched, although, due to legal technicalities that process was not as prompt as it should have been. To this day it remains an open question if such eradication efforts truly eliminated all remnants of its kind there.

A related species of this genus is the –kleptosaurus Gadaffii – which is similarly dangerous to those rights and freedoms. However, because that one is currently under international quarantine, and facing a rapidly shrinking habitat, our good Senator Reid has declared it may soon become extinct….so there’s no reason to be concerned about it anymore.

A particularly vicious sub-species of this genus is the –kleptosaurus ayatollahii- which assumes the form of theocracy whereby everything that is not forbidden….becomes strictly compulsory. In that form it is extreme difficult to eradicate, and human rights and freedoms are progressively just withered away.

These are only a few examples of what these terrible creatures are like, and how extremely contagious that – Syriac Disease – of theirs can be. In one form or another, they have spread it all over the globe, in places like Central and South America, both East and West Asia, throughout the Middle East, most of Africa, and parts of Europe and Russia. About the only places on earth where none of its species and this disease are found are in the Artic and Antartic regions of our globe.

The real problem with this creature and its disease, however, is not just its violently infectious nature, but rather, the insidious way it can successfully camouflage itself for years, behind a façade of benign, even democratic, forms, as it quietly imbeds itself into the matrix of a host society. In that dormant phase it then slowly, steadily, consolidates its grip on the levers of power, and once those levers are firmly in its grasp, it then emerges to begin its progressive expansion of monopolizing and sucking dry the economic life blood of its unsuspecting hosts.

We still don’t know how it began, or from where it might have originated. Some believe it’s a remnant from one of the seven biblical plagues that struck ancient Egypt. Others are convinced it is an alien genus and species brought to Earth by visiting extraterrestrials. The only thing we do know about them and this disease is that they have taken many forms throughout human history, and, that there is no known cure for it except to immediately implement eradication procedures against them and the disease whenever and wherever they are identified.

One of the better models for such measures occurred shortly before the end of WWII, when Italian partisans discovered and summarily dispatched the peninsula’s – kleptosaurus Mussolinii – hanging its carcass up by the heels as a public display of their zeal to protect the Italian people. Another good example of similar alertness and zeal to protect and defend the people occurred some decades later in Romania, where that species of it, the – kleptosaurus Ceacescuii – was quietly dispatched without any delaying formalities.

In short, eternal vigilance is the only real defense against it, and, any time one encounters or discovers any variants of this genus, or its species, it is urgently recommended that the Latin formula – Sic Semper Tyrannus – be immediately applied as an expedient prophylactic defense against the possibility of infection from its Syriac Disease.

This has been a public service announcement.

CENTURION