THOSE FIDDLERS WITH OUR GREENBACKS…
(…don’t have a broad enough perspective)

Sooner or later it was bound to happen. That is, wanting to honor some of the culturally and historically prominent women of our country. Yet, they have narrowed their search to only two…Harriet Tubman and Eleanor Roosevelt. In our view this seems to be a very, very narrow approach. Granted, both of these women were exemplary citizens, but those fiddlers with our greenbacks…don’t have a broad enough perspective on this issue.

There are some ironies with their proposed selections. Harriet Tubman is well worthy of being honored this way, but it is ironic that a Democratic administration is replacing a white, southern slave owner like Andrew Jackson (one of the founders of that party), with a black reportedly gun-toting former slave, strongly attached to a Republican administration. As for Mrs. Roosevelt, also well deserving of such special honors, we can’t help but wonder why such an iconic figure of the Democratic Party is only being proposed for a cameo shot on the back of our $5 dollar bill…along with Dr. Martin Luther King.

There’s a strong hint here of…political correctness…in these plans to change the looks of our paper currency. While we’re not objecting to their proposed selectees for this honor we are suggesting that, if the objective is to provide more recognition and honor to our American women, then they should be doing it on a much broader scale, by adding cameo pairs of iconic women from different eras of our national history, and matching these to the eras of the existing figures on all our paper currency. As it is, they’re neglecting the role of many other worthy women in our history.

Let’s take a look. We have seven denominations in circulation, plus two which are rarely found or seen. The circulating ones are…$1 dollar bill…$2 dollar bill…$5 dollar bill…$10 dollar bill…$20 dollar bill… $50 dollar bill…and $100 dollar bill. The rarely found or seen ones are…$500 dollar bill…$1000 dollar bill.

For the $1 bill we have old George, our first president on the front. Why not add two women on the reverse of it in cameo ovals on each side of the depiction of Mt. Vernon, such as…Betsy Ross…and Molly Pitcher…both iconic females of our Revolutionary War era. Definitely a complimentary match. For the $2 bill, however, we have as slight problem. Jefferson is on the front. Granted, he was one of our founders, and like old George, also a slave owner, but, one who also may have had a long term committed relationship with one, as his common law “mistress”. We’re uncertain how acceptable it would be (even in this politically correct era) to have her depicted as one of the female honorees for that bill. But why not, Sally Hennings must have been a very special lady indeed, for old revolutionary Tom to be with her that long. But, what other women from his time would be appropriate?

For our tried and true $5 bill we have old Honest Abe on the front of course. We can’t think of a better combination with the Great Emancipator than having Harriet Tubman here on the reverse, along with another deserving woman of that era as well (research required)

Our next two denominations, the $10 bill and the $20 dollar bill, also pose problems with regards to selecting two women from each of the eras represented by Hamilton and Jackson. Hamilton was also part of the founders of this country. What women of his era would be worthy of being on his bill? As for “old hickory” Jackson, he was a bit of a hell raiser, a slave owner, but a hero of the 1812 War, and the first of our populist “westerners” presidents. If we recall our history correctly, he fought several duels with some jokers who supposedly disparaged his choice of wife, so he obviously had respect for women. Here again we’re at a loss about women of cultural or historical prominence from those times.

We have a similar situation with the next two denominations also, the $50 bill and the $100 bill. Here, we need to find appropriate women candidates to pair up with old cigar smoking US Grant, who helped save the Union, and that old silver fox, Ben Franklin, another founder, science nerd, and reported ladies man. There must be any number of women from both those times worthy of sharing honors with these gents.

Lastly, we don’t recall who or what is depicted on those seldom encountered $500 and $1000 bills. Perhaps here, on these, we might depict only women on both the front and reverse of those bills. Even though they are not frequently seen in general circulation, they are the highest value denominations we have, so we can’t think of a more appropriate way of showing how we Americans value our women folk by having them represented…on our most expensive bills.

CENTURION