THE NEW WORLD OF E-SPEAK
( 21st Century shorthand)

One of the side effects of the technology revolution, particularly as it relates to the Net, has been the development of what can only be called – E-SPEAK – a 21st Century shorthand. Ongoing advances in communications devices, where both aural and textual exchanges have limited bandwidth space for conventional use of phrases, sentences, paragraphs, etc., appear to be evolving a new kind of “language”, using very short groups of letters (from 2-5 letter groups). To the un-initiated it has the appearance of code. In some respects, it is.

More precisely, it seems more akin to – slang- . This is nothing new, of course, because it seems to be following the typical evolutionary process of slang, which changes from generation to generation (and almost always being unintelligible between them). And today’s technology revolution has made it even more so.

Still, like all slang expressions, over time these drift into everyday usage, and affects and colors our manner of writing, our style of speaking, and our way of expressing ourselves, until another generational shift comes along, and sends it packing into the bin of outmoded forms and usage. And just like today we have difficulty deciphering Shakespearean English, or Old French, German, or Italian, to understand their allusions, or their nuances, perhaps some time in the future our descendants may also find themselves scratching their heads in great puzzlement wondering …. what the hell did these ancestors of ours mean, or what were they trying to say with this stuff? At which point they will have to turn to an academic scholar specializing in dead languages and other linguistics to get a proper answer to their question.

Well, while I am familiar with some of the more commonplace forms of this new E-SPEAK, such as….BRB….B2B….BFF….LOL….ROFL…etc., I’ve decided to try my hand at coining a few versions of it of my own….as my contribution to the process. Anyone who cares to join in is quite welcomed to do so, either by coming up with some of their own, or, changing or modifying my attempts at goofing around with this new “language.”

Here below is my list for E-SPEAK. It is organized in three columns. The first lists the E-SPEAK item. The second column is its meaning. And the third is its application or usage.
Here goes:

NEW E-SPEAK ITEM MEANING USAGE
————————————————————————-
ASHUP! “All Shook Up!” Expression of extreme distress
CBTD! “Crazy Bastard!” Expression of approval-or not
WHBTCH “Whiney Bitch” Annoying complaining female.
LHNR “Let’s Have a Nooner” Nuanced proposition per context
SLOVR? “Sleep Over?” Query w/sexual overtones
UBHT! “You Be Hot!” Nuanced admiration per context
CUL “See You Later” Short adieu w/backup plan
MBTM “Maybe Tomorrow” Uncertain/possible later meeting
WBCL “We Be Cool” Affirmative expression of condition
WTRT? “Whose Treat?” Who’s paying for pizza and beer
IWLTO! “I Won Lotto!” Announcing funded retirement
STN+STW! “Sleep Till Noon+Screw the World!” Positively well-funded retirement
IGMGYO! “I Got Mine Get Your Own!” Absolute refusal to share….anything
HTHRY? “How The Hell Are You?” Greeting after long absence
TXR2M! “Taxes Are Too Much!” Complaining about taxation levels
SSL-WR “Ship Safely Launched-With Rudder” Announcing birth of baby boy
SSL-NR “Ship Safely Launched – No Rudder” Announcing birth of baby girl

NOTE: Most of these can be personalized with either prefixes U…1…or combination thereof. Suffixes ….?….and…. !….add emphasis….as needed or desired.
Now, taking things to the next level, here’s an example of how E-SPEAK might be used to carry on a chat between two parties. In this instance, here’s a possible exchange between California’s recently termed-out –Governator – and a female friend:

Gov – “I’m ASHUP!”
FF -“Why?”
Gov – “Since I told the housekeeper LHNR Maria’s been 1WBTCH!”
FF – “U1CBTD!”
Gov – “Yeah, so, want a SLOVR? UBHT!”
FF – “MBTM…”
Gov – “WBCL?”
FF – “ WBCL….CUL”
Gov – “Hasta la vista, baby!”
—————————————————————-
Well , that’s as the world turns these days, as for me if I WLTO I’ll just STN+STW!

CENTURION